Neutral words to avoid too much emotion
What are neutral words?
·Simple responses that put you in neutral and help avoid power struggles.
Simple responses that help you save energy by keeping you away from power struggles.
Simple responses that give you time to think along and decide what choices may exist for the child:
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“Hmm…”, “Well then…”, "Oh my...", "Now...", "Ha...".
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No sarcasm…
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Breathe!
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Use the thinking time to set your own pace.
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Think about what the child CAN be doing right now, what can you let go of?
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Think about a Clear Statement and a Choice.
Role-plays with neutral words
Your child wants something, and it is not an option:
That’s a fun idea, but it’s not a choice. We should add that to the CAN’T list. Do you want to draw it, or do you want me to draw it?
[Child: ‘But mom/dad!’]
<You take a breath> Hmm.... Ha.... [Child: But mum/dad!]
<You take a breath & start thinking…> Oh my....[child: arguing]
<Breathe & think of CAN options…> Hmm...[child: arguing]
That’s not a choice. You can pick something from our CAN list or make a picture note for later
[Child: arguing]
<Model calm emotions> Again, that’s not a choice.
